


you loved someone once.

by discodancing



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, POV Second Person, Past Character Death, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24908293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discodancing/pseuds/discodancing
Summary: richie tozier loved someone once.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier (one sided)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	you loved someone once.

**Author's Note:**

> these flash pieces are so much fun to do! 
> 
> please comment and give kudos if you enjoyed reading this!!

You loved someone once.

Your memory of him is foggy, but sometimes you think too hard about him and get sad. Sometimes you wonder what things could have been like if your situation was any different, but you’ve never been one to dwell on things like that. You’ve never been one to look back on the past, because all it brings is pain. 

You remember lots of things about him. 

“DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME!”

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up, Einstein?”

“Fuck you, bro.”

As much as they don’t seem like it, those are the happy things you remember. You remember when he got stabbed in the face, and when he died, but you choose not to think about those things. They hurt too much, and anybody who knows you knows that you don’t like to hurt. Nobody does, but especially not you.

Mike, you remember him only because you’ve kept in nearly obsessive touch, tells you that it’s better to remember than to forget. You brush him off whenever you get even close to the topic— you won’t touch it with a ten foot pole. 

Bill, before you two got into an argument that destroyed your friendship, used to understand that. He didn’t want to talk about Georgie, and you didn’t want to talk about Eddie. You suppose it’s not the same— one is a brother taken at the age of six (was it six? You don’t remember the exact age) and one was a… a whatever. 

People die. You’ve got to die sometime, you guess, but maybe it would’ve been easier if you didn’t have to watch it happen. You would’ve kissed him, you think, if he hadn’t been dying in your arms. You might have asked him to marry you, too, if he’d gotten out of there alive.

You think about it more often than you’d like to admit to yourself. Mike knows, Ben knows, Bev knows, Bill probably knows too. You’re sure Eddie and St… what was his name again? Stanley? Yeah, that felt right. You’re sure they know, too, wherever they ended up. 

You don’t remember lots about Stanley. You remember how he died, and that he was the only Jewish person you knew as a kid. You remember that he was a voice of reason and that he used to laugh at his own jokes and had the biggest record collection out of all of you. You remember that you were the only one of your friends who went to his bar mitzvah, and were the one who sat with him while he panicked about how much he screwed it up when he told his dad to go fuck himself. 

Maybe you do remember lots about Stanley. It comes and goes, your memory. You remember if you try to, but once again, you don’t like to try to. When you try to, you remember that you were a little bit in love with Stanley too, when you were young. Bill, Bev, Mike, Ben, all of them. You don’t like to think about that, either, because then you think about how you didn’t love them the same as you loved Eddie, and then it gets real. 

You can feel the ghost of his hand on your face, sometimes, when you lay in your bed. You remember his tears, you remember telling him just how strong he was.

You still believe that. 

He’s dead, and still he’s stronger than you think you’ll ever be.

You miss him. You tell Beverly this, only one time, and she says ‘me too’. You wonder if she knows how you feel deep down, if she knows that you think about him before you fall asleep every night. She never asks you about it, but you figure that she’s not stupid. She loves you, she loves you so much. She tells you this often, and when you meet up, you go dancing together like it’s the last time you’ll ever remember each other’s faces, because maybe it is. 

You think about Eddie every time you see her. It’s because you see him in them, you see his smile and that stupid cast he had on when he was twelve. You see him laughing as he told the story about his ‘gazebos’ and you remember his face as he carved a big ‘E’ into the lover’s bridge right next to your big ‘R’. You two didn’t understand what that meant back then, but now you do, and you’d still do it a million times over. 

You loved someone once, and you can only hope that he loved you too.


End file.
